TOS 13: Brewfest

Grumbles and Leftie have apparently been asked by the Explorers League to check out Terramok in Desolace. I get the impression there’s no mad rush though as we’re currently ‘exploring the wonders of Dun Morogh’s  Brewfest.

TOS 12: Matrix Destabilsation

Apparently the birds okayed our trip to Uldaman so off we set, stopping off at the Stoutlager Inn in Thelsamar to pick up some supplies for the Explorer League encampment inside the old city.

I wasn’t expecting a fully laden pack mule worth of supplies but according to the Innkeeper not many adventurers venture into Uldaman these days so he’d take advantage of our trip and send in enough to keep them going for a few months.

Adyn hadn’t been happy since he’d worked out I was going to be tanking, he nearly threw a fit when we arrived and realised I’d be  owlkin tanking

“He’d rather you do it in Kaldorei form lass, his eyes have nae been off ya’ arse since we left the inn and that  owlkin of ya’s  has a saggy bum” Grumbles teased

Adyn harrumphed a bit  but let it drop.

We dealt with the  dark iron dwarves  efficiently, no let me rephrase that, Adyn, Kapil, Grumbles and I dealt efficiently, Leftie seemed to have no idea of teamwork  attacking any random  dwarf she took a fancy too.  Time was taken to explain about only attacking   whichever  creep was attacking me, and to not rummage through their dead bodies while we were still under attack but she seemed unable to take it in. Kapil came up with the solution, he gave her the job of guarding the mule, and told her to polymorph any creep that got past us and headed towards it, then she was hoisted up on the mules back  and ‘made secure’ so we could get on with  fighting through the  dwarves and  troggs and enter Uldaman proper.

After dropping the supplies off, and dragging Grumbles away when he realised they includes kegs of Stout, we fought our way through to  Archaedas, the Stone Keeper that guards the Vault of Uldaman. While many claim to have killed him, it’s really only possible to disable him. Shatter the stone that encases him and his forty helpers and he falls, but  somehow  the fragments reform around his essence and within 24 hours he’s back at his post.

Then we made our way to the Lorekeepr of Norgannon. I think Kapil was the only one who understood every word  of the explanation. “Matrix destabilization”, “variant matrix is a degenerative product of synthesis”. The gist hasn’t changed the Creators created the Earthen, something they didn’t forsee  caused them too mutate into Troggs and Dwarven, and  whatever the “data cycling update” is it hasn’t happened since last  I was here so nothing new was learned.

We, pack mule included, portaled to Ironforge from there so Leftie could report her findings to High Explorer Magellas.

I thought the sarcasm in his voice was obvious when he said:

“What do you have there… oh my.  You found this where? No, really? You spoke to whom about what? NO, REALLY?! My fine mage, you may have just made the archaeological find of the year!  By the Gods who am I kidding, the find of the century!  If these discs are what I think them to be, then this could be the very key we have been looking for!  This may well prove outright once and for all the legitimacy of the Dwarves’ enchanted creation!

Leftie didn’t seem to catch it though, or see him place the discs in a chest along with a dozen or more other copies. I wonder how many adventurers have heard the self same speech over the years.

TOS 11: Return to Uldaman

I wandered down from my rooms in the Ledgermain to catch Leftie saying.

“The druid can tank, then one more person and we can go.”

“Which druid and go where?” I asked

“You and Uldaman, well Uldaman first anyway” she replied

“I can tank?” I looked at Grumbles who grinned back

“Aye lass ye can tank in Kaldorei form if ya like I can keep you alive.”

Leftie was clearly under the impression that as Grumbles was a Paladin and had healed her I must be a Druid of the Claw. Well Grumbles and I had worked together often enough that if he wasn’t worried I wouldn’t either.

I still had a fair few questions for Leftie but I’ll give you the gist of her replies as she has a tendency to not remember to breathe between sentences, and Grumbles had to fill in a lot of the blanks anyway.

I thought Uldaman had already been explored and its secrets uncovered but it turns out the Explorers Guild rarely settle for one visit, believing that quantity of accounts outweighs quality and sending their freelancers and apprentices back time and time again. It also as Grumbles pointed out works as a ‘natural filter’ for those who don’t have what it takes to poke their nose into dangerous places and return in one piece.

It took a bit more digging to discover why Leftie believed we’d accompany her. She’d leaned on Grumbles as a member of the Explorers Guild and invoked one of their strange guild rules “leave no body behind” or some such so he needed something more pressing than jousting to avoid accompanying her. She’d assumed “the druid” would follow and Kapil had offered his services.

Leaving us one short of the magical five, seriously mages and their numerology, failure won’t automatically ensue if only four of us went. In all honesty Grumbles and I stood a better chance if we didn’t take the mages with us neither of them are exactly seasoned adventurers, Leftie hasn’t even claimed her adult name yet.

Leftie knows some odd people, her first suggestion was a warlock , as if Grumbles or I would travel with such, her second a Death Knight. Our combined roar of “NO!!” nearly knocked her off her feet. She looked genuinely confused by our reaction so Grumbles laid it out

“Me Paladin, her Druid, we fight agin such unnatural abomination as the undead and demon lovers, we dinnae travel with them.”

Leftie looked like she was going to argue, but one look at our faces and she thought better of it. “Well you suggest someone then”

That shut us up briefly, not because we don’t know people we can call on but that few of them hang out in Dalaran.

“I saw Adyn in the sewers yess’day lass, go flutter your eyes at him he’s soft on ya” Grumbles suggested “No lass flutter not roll, no wonder ya still be single”

Only a dwarf would think a widow was the same as being single, but Adyn wasn’t a bad suggestion.

It took some looking to find him and even then it was only because he wanted to be found, but he agreed to accompany us and now we have the mafical five we’re off to Uldaman tomorrow, or maybe the next day. It apparently all depends on the result of Leftie’s augury. I really should learn that, I mean divination by bird flight is so open to manipulation when you’re a druid

TOS 10: Of Artichokes and Super Snappers

Grumbles was bored, bored of the snow and the mountains.

“Lass lets go Artichoke hunting, get away from all this blighted snow”

I nodded, its been a while but he’s right a change of pace can be as good as a rest. Kapil looked intrigued “I never took you for a pair of  gatherers, well not of foliage at any rate.”

“Well these Artichoke are special like, they tend to fight back, shall we take him lass?”

“It’s up to you Grum, Though its not far from Dalaran’s old site so maybe he’s enjoy a trip home? If you think you can keep him alive that is.”

“I’ll have you know I’ve been given extensive training in offensive  magics and can handle myself more than adequately in any altercation we might encounter while gathering artichokes.”

Grumble’s eyes were twinkling and by the way his beard was twitching I’d guess he was trying to control a grin. “Aye well I’m a warning ya now these Artichoke tend ta fight back”

Yes I know you know where this is heading I’m sure you’ve read a copy of “The Frostwolf Artichoke: Tales of Stormpike Glory“  Feathermoon would have received enough copies over the years. Seems its not exactly required reading for Kirin Tor members though, so Grumble got his belly laugh when we stepped through the portal into Alterac Valley and saw the look on Kapil’s face.

We fought most of the day, Kapil it seems did indeed earn his title of battle mage on the field not from scrolls, its clear though he’d never fought with a  Balance druid beside him before or he’d know where his amplified powers came from.  Grumbles decided to harass the Troggs  holding Irondeep Mine. I think he has a crush on Umi Thorson as he invariably finds an excuse to head that way. Though it could be a deep dislike of Troggs I suppose, the dwarves take it somewhat personally that they appear to be related races.

The Troggs were swarming over someone when we arrived.  A well placed typhoon blew them off enough to see it was a gnome, and one in bad shape. We made short work of the Troggs, they are just too stupid to fight as a team. Grum saw to healing the gnome. Turns out her name is Leftia Deeprun and she’s a licensed relic hunter for the Explorer’s League. I wasn’t aware the Explorers League accepted non dwarf members. Grum informed me later that licensed relic hunters arn’t Guild members more  freelancers, they get paid for results rather than a stipend.

Like so many gnomes the girl was hyperactive, once healed, and wanted to charge off into the  mines. Grum just grabbed her, by her somewhat ornate collar, and told Kapil to portal us back to Dalaran as she needed rest and he needed a nights hard drinking.  In lieu of gold for saving her life she used her Super Snapper to take this shot of us

Damn noisy sort of  gizmo, not to mention blinding flashes of light. Now if they could make it smaller and quieter it might be a useful tool

TOS 9: Call of the Crusade

Well we’re gathered here in the shadow of Icecrown playing games. I’m not privy to Fordring’s rationale in choosing his strike force but I ensure I visit the Master of Arms daily to receive my orders. I may as well get credit and gold for killing the scourge as I’d be doing it anyway.

I’m less diligent with the Mount Masters, but when the swaggering of the horde gets on my nerves I find it therapeutic to jump on a nightsaber and knock them onto their backsides in the jousting rings.  You don’t need me here though you have M within the Covenant, and E feeding the Crusade. In all honesty the Tournament site is crawling with agents from every  group you could name, and probably a few we can’t.

I spend my evenings at the Ledgermain, letting Kapil Starlyre  (the Dalaran Peacekeeper I had a run in with in the Underbelly)  ply me and Grumbles with mead, he’s normally after information about Darnassus and relations between Tyrande and Staghelm, of which I tell him nothing beyond they share tea weekly.  Recently though his probing has turned to the Highborne of Eldre’Thalas. He claims his ancestors lived there before the Sundering and he’d like to visit his ancestral home so asks about the area and the likely reaction of the Kaldorei stationed at Feathermoon Grumbles broke it to him straight

“Lad if the Sentinels were feeling kindly towards ya they’d kill ya quick. If they were in a mean mood they’d let ya pass and gift ya to the Orges that infest the place. Somehow I be doubting you’d lasting even one round  in their Arena.”

I refrained from mentioning the back door I just happen to have key for, or that the Shen’dralar still guard Azshara’s library, though its something of an open secret I thought. But Kapil hasn’t mentioned them so I see no reason too. I doubt its simply an interest in seeing where his ancestors lived 10,000 years ago that has prompted his curiosity though. I will give the man this he’s good at verbal fencing, but then so am I.  We can spend hours in each others company and end up only learning what Dwarves perceptions of our two races are.